That Big Blue Box

A question recently came across one of my social media streams: Why doesn't anyone ask the Tardis what she wants to look like?

I enjoyed considering it, and have an answer to posit.

The official reason for the static look of the Tardis comes down to a faulty or broken chameleon circuit. The circuit has been repaired (to troublesome effect) only to break again. The story has changed a few times between Classic Who, New Who, television and prose/comic/audio, and the Doctor has contradicted himself more than once.

Rule one: the Doctor lies.

I believe that the Tardis looks like a 1963 Police Box because that is exactly the way she wants to look. Furthermore, the reason for her choice to maintain her appearance as a big, blue Police Box is, much like the Doctor's choice of name, a promise.

If you are with me, and totally agree on all points, then let's long-distance fist bump, and part ways.

If not, and you need me to show my work to be convinced, well, then by all means keep reading.

Spoilers.

Perhaps the first aspect of my theory to address is that the Tardis wants to look a certain way. As in, she has desires, preferences, a will of her own. There is evidence of this all over the place. The Sixth Doctor repairs the chameleon circuit for a while, but the Tardis consistently fails to accurately blend in. Even with the switch working properly, the Tardis can still choose the wrong shell. I think this an example of the Tardis teaching this incarnation a lesson about asserting himself where he should not, with a hint of the old adage to be careful what you wish for. If she is not taking on environmentally appropriate forms with a working circuit, then it is because she has chosen to override it while pretending that it's all part of the circuit's function. When she hides her entrances in her new, camouflaged forms, she is being willfully mischievous. It was less a technical issue, and more an issue of the Tardis's personality manifesting.

If you prefer a newer example we can look to "Hide." Eleven chastises Clara for shaking out her umbrella inside the Tardis, asking Clara how she could expect the Tardis to like her if she (the Tardis) is soaking wet. He also asks the Tardis if she is being mean to Clara. One could assume that he is just being cute, and/or pretending by means of anthropomorphizing the Tardis in order to poke fun at Clara, but the Tardis seems to respond. Later in the episode it becomes clear that the Doctor has not been ascribing made-up traits to his Tardis, and that the Tardis does have a definite dislike for Clara. The Doctor is stuck in a pocket universe, and Clara needs the Tardis to rescue him. There is an exchange between the companion and the Tardis Voice Visual Interface. The Tardis has locked Clara out, and gets a bit cheeky, all but accusing Clara of being narcissistic, arrogant, and/or egotistical (take your pick, really). The Tardis chooses a likeness that it deems most esteemed by Clara. Herself.

It is possible that this is really just a clever bit of programming, after all, the vehicle can travel through time and space, and must therefore be extremely sophisticated, but it is a little hard to believe that the programming would include ridiculing the person to which you are speaking. Plus, it would need to have examined Clara and her mental state and personality, and then make a judgment. It is possible that all of that can be achieved with algorithms, but it is also possible that, after running through her algorithms and getting the result, the Tardis still just showed Clara herself because she wanted to be insulting. The Doctor (11) has even said that the chameleon circuit is not really broken, that the Tardis does scan her environment and come up an image that will blend in perfectly, then decides to materialize as a Police Box anyway.

The Tardis follows her technical programming, but can choose to discard the results. Now, as I have already admitted, the Doctor lies, and this does contradict his own tale of the chameleon circuit (that he went back in time to just before it landed for the first time on Earth and broke it himself), but the Doctor does not always lie. He is consistently and casually crediting the Tardis with willful choice, choice that violates programming for the sake of her own preference.

There is one more, terribly obvious episode to draw from regarding the Tardis and her personality: "The Doctor's Wife," written exquisitely, tragically, beautifully by Neil Gaiman. The Doctor and company are lured into a sort of bubble universe by an evil bastard called House, and the Tardis's matrix, her “living soul” to quote the Doctor, her being (not the physical ship, mind you) is forced into a body. Well, a woman. Well, mostly a woman. Well, a Frankenstein's monster sort of a person thing called Idris. The Tardis is confused upon finding herself in a talking flesh body, and has a hard time articulating any of it to her Doctor.

None of this could be possible if there was not a living being aspect to the Tardis.

She has a personality, or it could not have been so unceremoniously thrust into a biological form. The Tardis even has her own narrative from her own perspective. She was not stolen by a Time Lord as the Doctor tells it, rather she stole a Time Lord, ran away with him, and is never going to give him back. We even learn that the reason for the Doctor frequently landing in a different time and/or place than he intended, was because the Tardis wanted to take him somewhere or somewhen else. She chooses.

This brings us into the issue of her having power and control to assert her will. To paraphrase the Tardis/Idris/Sexy: the Tardis may not take the Doctor where he wants to go, but she always takes him where he needs to go. She knows better than even the Doctor, and does what she knows she must. If she can fly herself, contrary to her pilot's commands, then she certainly can control the look of her shell. Now, maybe the Tardis, like the Doctor, lies. Maybe her claim that she lands in the wrong place and time was just a clever lie to save face (though that seems petty). I would consider that option were it not for the fact that she has piloted herself on more than one occasion. At the end of "The Doctor's Wife," the Doctor says, “Okay, to the eye of Orion, or wherever we need to go,” and, to the Doctor's delight, the controls move on their own.

The Tardis also operates herself in "Hide." Clara convinces the Tardis to rescue the Doctor (or maybe the Tardis was always planning to go after the Doctor, but wanted to screw with Clara a bit first). There is no way that Clara has the capability to fly the Tardis into a pocket universe; the Tardis does all of it. And she doesn't go wrong and end up somewhere else by mistake. She is accurate, and brave really, because that pocket universe could have drained her power and left her stone dead had she not been able to get in and out quickly enough. But I digress.

There are other instances where it can be inferred that the Tardis is operating herself. When the Doctor regenerates from Ten to Eleven, we see that that the Doctor is not at the controls while the Tardis is flying, so he obviously isn't flying her. It's true that in this instance the Tardis is not maneuvering very well, and in fact crashes, but she does seem to land when and where she is supposed to in the grand scheme. Her poor operation could be explained by her engines seizing, or even the confusion and re-configuration needed to adjust to a new regeneration of her companion Time Lord. So, despite her experiencing technical difficulties, she manages to fly herself to the necessary destination.

When Eleven regenerates to Twelve, he is again confused, has no idea how to fly the Tardis, is not even certain of who he is, and the Tardis still manages to get him to his friends (Deep Breath). We do not see that she is operating herself, but the Doctor is in no fit state to manage it, and passes out right after landing. He did not recognize his friends immediately, so he could not have been attempting to contact them, and therefore could not have chosen the time and destination to land. It really had to be the Tardis. Even if he were trying to fly her, she probably landed contrary to his controls in order to get him to safety.

And did anyone else notice in "The Doctor's Wife" that the Tardis matrix, that living soul, looks just like the Bad Wolf entity that gave persistent life to Jack Harkness, and atomized the Daleks?

The Tardis created/planted evidence of herself throughout time and space to lead back to her so that she could save the Doctor, all without him having any idea. She's a busy girl.

It's probably safe to say that anytime the Tardis lands when and where the Doctor wants is either because she is letting him have his way or his way corresponds with hers, not because he is actually the boss of her.

She allows him the illusion that he runs her because she knows that he needs to believe that sometimes, but deep down I think he knows that she does as she pleases. The Doctor has said as much on the few occasions that he (seemingly) jokes about her decisions to discard programming, like maintaining her “disguise” as a 1963 Police Box despite scans providing a different ideal shell. The reason that the chameleon circuit is “broken” is because he recognizes that it is her choice, and respects her enough to make no attempt to force a change, mostly. Not that has mattered when he does “fix” it – she always gets her way in the end. Perhaps he finally understands the significance of her choice.

The Tardis loves her thief, her stolen Time Lord, and she believes in him. His chosen name, the Doctor, is a promise (The Name of the Doctor). So too is the Tardis's shell a promise. What was a Police Box for if not to summon aid by those in need? By maintaining the Police Box exterior she is a beacon of light, and the means through which to gain assistance. The Tardis is always reminding the Doctor of the person that he could be by promising to summon a good man, a problem solver, a life-saver, the Doctor.

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